midwestern days, I have been watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette for...

I have been watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette for years only so I can be in on the jokes mentioned in the countless hysterical review blogs that are strewn about the internet. Like this one. And as an aside, ‘Courtney’ the ‘bad’ girl… well I think I’d actually get along with her in real life because she’s right, the rest of the girls are complete bores - as is ben - this season is weak, thank g-d for the writeups.

Groban and Lindzi hover around a few islands and then end up above a formation that looks like a circle. Groban explains that this is known as the “Blue Hole” and they are going to strip out of their Anthropologie tanks, hold hands and jump from the chopper into the waiting blue sea below. To no one’s surprise, Lindzi announces that she is super afraid of heights and must count on our Bachelor to help her through this life changing moment. To everyone’s surprise, Groban reveals that he shaves his arm pits and must count on Lindzi to provide tips on which razors leave the least amount of razor burn. They agree that their relationship is about to take a new direction, kiss for luck and fling themselves out of the open door.

Lindzi: “I don’t know how I was able to do that. The only thing I can think of is that he’s worth the fall.”
Lincee: “I don’t know how you managed to keep your strapless bathing suit top on. But the bigger mystery is how you don’t look like a soaked raccoon? You applied eyeliner for 10 minutes in your ‘getting dressed for my date’ montage. Is it made of tar? Curiouser and curiouser.”…